I had a miscarriage.
Tomorrow I have a DNC.
Beyond that...I don't know.
I'm sorry, but I can't blog right now.
I just don't have the will to try to do much of anything.
I just want to lay in bed and...just be somewhere else.
If I have your email and can contact you that way, I will. For now no more posts or pictures here or Bring Me A Small Liar
Angie
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Happy Birthday Munchers
Well it's that time of year again. Summer is beginning to wind down and the little miss turns another year older. She happily rang in the big number 4 over two days of festivities.
Friday was her official birthday and was spend with mum and dad. We went to breakfast at her favorite place, Black Bear Restaurant. Then off to the mall to play and pick up the newest WWF animal from Build-A-Bear. It's a Cheetah and his name is Tisi(t-see). He joins the growing family of named animals she has. There's Tundra the Polar Bear, Aiery(Air-ee)the Giraffe, Tilly the Cow, Pounce the Snow Leopard and Eli the Platypus
She got a new outfit from The Gap (holy gracious is anything cheap?!?) and then came home for a nap. Birthday's take a good bit out of you and there's a limit to how much Chris and I will accept, even on her "special day"
Saturday was spent getting everything ready for her party that afternoon. The house was cleaned thanks in most part to Chris and leaving only decorating to be done with Nana and Papa's help.
We barbqued and had the Nagel clan, Nana & Papa and our neighbor's the Malcom's over. Nice weather kept everyone outside for the most part. I let Papa play photographer for the party and I relaxed on the steps for most of it. Pria opened her presents and we got the kids their goodie bags shortly after she finished to quell any angst about not getting anything.
Then Nana took Jordan inside and filled up his squirt gun, after tagging Kai and Pria much to their initial dismay they quickly figured out they to had squirt guns and requested water. I was raised to be a good host and happily filled their guns and pointed them towards their victims...err playmates.
Well I don't know about you, but I can't sit around and watch a water fight...it's just not right to not participate. Lucky for some of the adults, Nana had given each kiddo 2 guns and weapons were readily available. That and Nana grabbed water bottles and cups to even the score. Trini hid in her house, Papa ran away with the camera, Shirey hid behind little Sydney and Chris did his best to avoid the people with cups. It didn't work for long, I caught and soaked him happily.
Eventually the water fight wound down and we got some dry clothes for the squids, then birthday cake time. Yummy Larson's bakery fresh strawberry cake. Mmmmmmm.
It was a good fun day. Pria loved her party and presents. She snuggled Tisi and her birthday ballons while she slept. She is looking forward to turning 5 now. Well at least she was content for one day.
Have to talk to Papa about seeing what pictures he took of the fun times.
Friday was her official birthday and was spend with mum and dad. We went to breakfast at her favorite place, Black Bear Restaurant. Then off to the mall to play and pick up the newest WWF animal from Build-A-Bear. It's a Cheetah and his name is Tisi(t-see). He joins the growing family of named animals she has. There's Tundra the Polar Bear, Aiery(Air-ee)the Giraffe, Tilly the Cow, Pounce the Snow Leopard and Eli the Platypus
She got a new outfit from The Gap (holy gracious is anything cheap?!?) and then came home for a nap. Birthday's take a good bit out of you and there's a limit to how much Chris and I will accept, even on her "special day"
Saturday was spent getting everything ready for her party that afternoon. The house was cleaned thanks in most part to Chris and leaving only decorating to be done with Nana and Papa's help.
We barbqued and had the Nagel clan, Nana & Papa and our neighbor's the Malcom's over. Nice weather kept everyone outside for the most part. I let Papa play photographer for the party and I relaxed on the steps for most of it. Pria opened her presents and we got the kids their goodie bags shortly after she finished to quell any angst about not getting anything.
Then Nana took Jordan inside and filled up his squirt gun, after tagging Kai and Pria much to their initial dismay they quickly figured out they to had squirt guns and requested water. I was raised to be a good host and happily filled their guns and pointed them towards their victims...err playmates.
Well I don't know about you, but I can't sit around and watch a water fight...it's just not right to not participate. Lucky for some of the adults, Nana had given each kiddo 2 guns and weapons were readily available. That and Nana grabbed water bottles and cups to even the score. Trini hid in her house, Papa ran away with the camera, Shirey hid behind little Sydney and Chris did his best to avoid the people with cups. It didn't work for long, I caught and soaked him happily.
Eventually the water fight wound down and we got some dry clothes for the squids, then birthday cake time. Yummy Larson's bakery fresh strawberry cake. Mmmmmmm.
It was a good fun day. Pria loved her party and presents. She snuggled Tisi and her birthday ballons while she slept. She is looking forward to turning 5 now. Well at least she was content for one day.
Have to talk to Papa about seeing what pictures he took of the fun times.
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
You have to use your imagination
PG-13 For adult subjects and graphic visuals
Aah the wonderful world of doctors and my general annoyance at ever going to them. I've liked two doctors in my life, my shoulder surgeon and the one that delivered Pria. I generally don't have a great report with doc's because I'm some what of a problem patient. Things tick a bit differently with me, just because the book says I should be fixed doesn't mean it.
Well the two newest Doctors I've dealt with, are probably going to top my favorites and least liked. Dear Dr. Bair is a very nice guy and totally knows how to discuss oddities without making them "my fault" or "just in my head". Dr. Johnson on the other hand...*growls* Sunday afternoon I was taken back to discover, while turning on the downstairs stereo, that I had blood running down my legs. Very quickly I walked upstairs and washed off and told Chris in a simple voice "I need to call the doctor." Within about 15 minutes the on call doctor was supposed to be calling me back. I explained to Dr. Johnson what all had been happening and he listened and gave me the oddest suggestions. They were odd, because they weren't suggestions. All he said was repeated what I asked as statements back to me.
"You could go the emergency room, it's not the best thing"
"Should I go?"
"It's not the most ideal situation."
"What should I do then?"
"I don't know, you could go in and see them or wait til morning and call again."
"But what about now? Should I lay down? Is this something serious?"
"Yeah you could lay down, wouldn't hurt."
Now I'm not that prone to freaking out. I don't get very hysterical and I'm generally already thinking the ways it can play out before I ask anyone else. But oh that doctor made me want to scream. It was like talking to a shrink, everything was my choice but I had no clue what I should be doing in that situation.
Finally I got a hold of my mom and talked to her, I should give her my copay instead of Dr.Fruitloop over there. After a very long Sunday night bleeding off and on, Monday morning came and I called the Doc's office again. This time to be able to talk and see the doctor I wanted. After several hours and phone calls I was scheduled to see him the next morning and put on bed rest until then. Fine Dr. Johnson hadn't put my paperwork into the emergency pile (as he was supposed too) so I had to wait another day because they had no record of me talking to him.
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!! Dr. Johnson, you are so on the bottom of the short list.
Monday was long and I did my best to make it stress free. Our neighbors (Chris and Trini) took Jordan and Pria to the zoo for the day and gave me time to just lay down. The night was spent watching Shark Week and playing KidK'nex with Pria on the couch.
Tuesday morning came and an exhausted Chris took us to the doc's. The wait wasn't too bad and once we were in the room, Dr. Bair came and saw us within about 10 minutes. We talked in his office about everything and he talked like a completely normal person. No ten dollar words, no implied intelligence or false hope. A quick and nauseating exam and he was fairly certain I had not had a miscarriage, but ordered an ultrasound to make sure I wasn't in danger of having one. Hey nice guy doc...way to plan ahead.
In the ultrasound room the tech explained to us that because I was just barely 5 weeks that seeing something was doubtful. Well, she was wrong and so was I apparently on how far along I was (I swear I got the date right this time) To the absolute delight of Pria there was a little baby she could see, and she could also see the heart beating. Now that was cool. The tech did a sound recording and sure enough that's a heartbeat in there, 103 bpm. Girls are the slower heart rates right? We couldn't remember. Pria got a picture, she was very happy to hold it and tell everyone "That's the baby." Along with the baby we could also see two blood pools, one right next to the gestational sack and one above the cervix. The baby was measured and I was put at 6 weeks at least, so my math sucks.
Dr. Bair was happy as could be that the baby was in the right spot and had a heartbeat, the chances of miscarriages drop from 50% to 20% with hearing a heartbeat. But the pools of blood slightly concerned him. He believed that the placenta had ripped away from the wall and was bleeding, so I was ordered to bed rest or sitting and taking it easy for the next week (boring) to encourage it to heal and scar over. And not to encourage anymore ripping. If it doesn't heal or tears again, the miscarriage threat becomes a more prevalent possibility. Until I get to 12 weeks, he will be watching me closely. Once I get to 12 weeks the miscarriage rate is 1% and he is fairly certain we can handle anything after that.
For now I'm back to my post surgery routine, no lifting, no running, sitting and laying as much as I can possibly stand it. Guess I'll go buy Harry Potter after all, and read it slow this time....painfully slow. Have any other ideas what to do for the next 6 weeks?
Aah the wonderful world of doctors and my general annoyance at ever going to them. I've liked two doctors in my life, my shoulder surgeon and the one that delivered Pria. I generally don't have a great report with doc's because I'm some what of a problem patient. Things tick a bit differently with me, just because the book says I should be fixed doesn't mean it.
Well the two newest Doctors I've dealt with, are probably going to top my favorites and least liked. Dear Dr. Bair is a very nice guy and totally knows how to discuss oddities without making them "my fault" or "just in my head". Dr. Johnson on the other hand...*growls* Sunday afternoon I was taken back to discover, while turning on the downstairs stereo, that I had blood running down my legs. Very quickly I walked upstairs and washed off and told Chris in a simple voice "I need to call the doctor." Within about 15 minutes the on call doctor was supposed to be calling me back. I explained to Dr. Johnson what all had been happening and he listened and gave me the oddest suggestions. They were odd, because they weren't suggestions. All he said was repeated what I asked as statements back to me.
"You could go the emergency room, it's not the best thing"
"Should I go?"
"It's not the most ideal situation."
"What should I do then?"
"I don't know, you could go in and see them or wait til morning and call again."
"But what about now? Should I lay down? Is this something serious?"
"Yeah you could lay down, wouldn't hurt."
Now I'm not that prone to freaking out. I don't get very hysterical and I'm generally already thinking the ways it can play out before I ask anyone else. But oh that doctor made me want to scream. It was like talking to a shrink, everything was my choice but I had no clue what I should be doing in that situation.
Finally I got a hold of my mom and talked to her, I should give her my copay instead of Dr.Fruitloop over there. After a very long Sunday night bleeding off and on, Monday morning came and I called the Doc's office again. This time to be able to talk and see the doctor I wanted. After several hours and phone calls I was scheduled to see him the next morning and put on bed rest until then. Fine Dr. Johnson hadn't put my paperwork into the emergency pile (as he was supposed too) so I had to wait another day because they had no record of me talking to him.
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!! Dr. Johnson, you are so on the bottom of the short list.
Monday was long and I did my best to make it stress free. Our neighbors (Chris and Trini) took Jordan and Pria to the zoo for the day and gave me time to just lay down. The night was spent watching Shark Week and playing KidK'nex with Pria on the couch.
Tuesday morning came and an exhausted Chris took us to the doc's. The wait wasn't too bad and once we were in the room, Dr. Bair came and saw us within about 10 minutes. We talked in his office about everything and he talked like a completely normal person. No ten dollar words, no implied intelligence or false hope. A quick and nauseating exam and he was fairly certain I had not had a miscarriage, but ordered an ultrasound to make sure I wasn't in danger of having one. Hey nice guy doc...way to plan ahead.
In the ultrasound room the tech explained to us that because I was just barely 5 weeks that seeing something was doubtful. Well, she was wrong and so was I apparently on how far along I was (I swear I got the date right this time) To the absolute delight of Pria there was a little baby she could see, and she could also see the heart beating. Now that was cool. The tech did a sound recording and sure enough that's a heartbeat in there, 103 bpm. Girls are the slower heart rates right? We couldn't remember. Pria got a picture, she was very happy to hold it and tell everyone "That's the baby." Along with the baby we could also see two blood pools, one right next to the gestational sack and one above the cervix. The baby was measured and I was put at 6 weeks at least, so my math sucks.
Dr. Bair was happy as could be that the baby was in the right spot and had a heartbeat, the chances of miscarriages drop from 50% to 20% with hearing a heartbeat. But the pools of blood slightly concerned him. He believed that the placenta had ripped away from the wall and was bleeding, so I was ordered to bed rest or sitting and taking it easy for the next week (boring) to encourage it to heal and scar over. And not to encourage anymore ripping. If it doesn't heal or tears again, the miscarriage threat becomes a more prevalent possibility. Until I get to 12 weeks, he will be watching me closely. Once I get to 12 weeks the miscarriage rate is 1% and he is fairly certain we can handle anything after that.
For now I'm back to my post surgery routine, no lifting, no running, sitting and laying as much as I can possibly stand it. Guess I'll go buy Harry Potter after all, and read it slow this time....painfully slow. Have any other ideas what to do for the next 6 weeks?
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